In the next few posts I am going to explore the topic of anger. I sat down to write a post about anger and how yoga can help but I soon realized that this was a topic far bigger than a single post so we'll just have to see where this goes.
It has been said that all emotions can be broken down into two basic fundamental emotions: Love and Fear. All positive emotions are an extension and expression of love, and all negative emotions are an extension and expression of fear. It's part of the ultimate dichotomy, Light/Dark, good/evil, yin/yang/, sun/moon, love/fear. etc.
Anger is a tricky emotion. Whether you are angry at someone or someone is upset with you, the issue never seems to be black and white. From the surface a persons anger can often seem justified and make sense. However, if we dig a little deeper more often than not the means do not justify the ends. Anger can show up violently as outbursts or physical altercations, and at worst sometimes leading to death. But it can also be much more subversive and mask itself as judgement, criticism, resentment, alienation, hurtfulness, or unjust blaming to name a few. The people who are angry almost always feel justified in their anger and the people who the anger is directed towards are often left wondering,"what did I do to deserve this?"
Where there is anger there is fear. What is important to recognize is anger is always based in fear. As Louise Hay says, anger is fear defending itself. In general there are a few basic fears that can lead to anger. Fear of not being worthy, fear of loss (of someone or something), fear of attack (on the ego), fear of not being in/or losing control, and the fear of acknowledging the truth. When it comes right down to it anger is never about the person or situation it is being directed towards but is always about the fears of the person who is angry.
The Bagavad Gita states, Anger breeds delusion: and delusion breeds loss of memory of the Self (God within). II:63 Anger doesn't make sense. Try telling that to an angry person :) Anger can make us do things that we normally would never do. It begins to tells stories and create senerios in your head and before you know it your anger has taken you far beyond the initial situation.
So how do we flip the script from anger to compassion in ourselves and others? The answer is always the same.
There is no fear in love: but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.
If you are angry and don't want to be ask yourself, "what am I afraid of ?" Then tell yourself the truth- the whole truth. Often times just telling the truth will dissipate the anger. If someone is angry at you rather than responding back with anger recognize that person is operating in fear and treat them with compassion. If you are the one operating in fear and you choose to acknowledge that, treat yourself and the one you are angry with with compassion. The fear can not exist in this the presence of compassion and love. This is where that quote from the Baghavad Gita comes back to play- anger and fear are really a delusion of our true selves. If we knew who we truly are we would know that we are whole, worthy, loved, and already have everything we need just as we are. We just need to know....
To begin this process Louise Hay gives this affirmation, "I am not my fears. It is safe for me to live without guarding and defending myself all the time. When I feel afraid I open my heart and let love dissolve the fear."
Love this Marnie! I choose LOVE:)
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