A moment to gather

Have you ever tried to do something but at every attempt it seems like the whole universe is against you doing that very thing you are intent on doing?  That's the very thing that is happening with this next blog post.  I am contemplating how to write about living stress free- and do it with wit and intelligence. What I have to say about this topic seems so important that when you get done reading I expect to hear your "Ah-ha" moment in my living room. Yet as I try to write all that is whirling around in my head I come up blank.  Never a good sign for writing.

So as I sit idly looking at the computer screen I realize what the Universe is trying to tell me is to LIVE IT. Stressing out about getting this blog post out "on time"-which by the way is an arbitrary deadline I set for myself - is certainly not practicing what I preach.  And practicing what I preach is the most important work I can do.  So I am letting go of  my arbitrary deadline for this next post.  I am reading books, gardening, and filling my free-time with idleness. It's wonderful.  You should try it sometime.  Just doing nothing.  Being idle just because. If you can allow yourself to go there, without guilt, or shame, or a to-do list, doing nothing is out of this world!

Even as I search for quotes to back me up on this one I was quite disappointed. It seems Idleness has been frowned upon for generations.  Ok I get that, back in the day when survival was hard work, idleness was considered weak and threatening to the survival of a whole family.  But what about today?  What it takes to survive in this world has taken a major shift.  Food, clothing and shelter are relatively easy to come by.  Now whether you have realized it or not, our survival is mainly dependent on our own life-style choices. The way it's looking most everyone is racing to their early graves.  Not because of starvation or exposure, but from totally preventable diseases like hypertension, diabetes, and yes I dare say cancer.  And what is at the root of all these diseases is stress. And why do we have so much stress????........ Because we have eliminated idleness, quite, stillness, calmness- all of those things that eliminate stress.

Woah -this post is writing itself.  I have science to back me up on this one. Originally that's what I wanted to write about but this is what I ended up with.  So until the next post in which I hope to present you with the science of this stress free living stuff... think about this?  Can you just do nothing and be content?  And if your answer is no, why not? 

Would You Rather? Manage Your Stress or Live Stress Free!

The next few posts I am going to do a series on living a Stress Free life so please keep posted for follow-ups. Also, please check my interview with fellow blogger, Life Coach dynamo, yoga teacher, and all around inspiration Jasna Burza.  jasnaburza.blogspot.com

This idea of stress management has been a rising topic for the last 10 years or so.  If you haven't noticed already- people, businesses and corporations, and products are all jumping on the stress management bandwagon by the masses.  But I have a question for you, why do you want to manage your stress?  Don't you have enough in your life to manage already?  Why in the world do you want to add stress management to your "to-do" list when you have the option of living stress free?

The way I see it, stress management is like rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.  Whether you chose to crash and burn or learn ways combat stress and compartmentalize stress in your life-you are still fighting and adding more to do and eventually it is going to take it's toll on you. The stress doesn't really go anywhere it just gets rearranged.  The problem lies in the fact that you are not addressing the root of the issue just the branches.  Surface cures create surface relief.  To be stress free you need to go to the root of the issue and dealing with the root means lining up with our true selves.  How you internalize and respond to any given situation determines the stress response.

 Now don't get me wrong, taking steps to address your stress and change patterns can indeed be very powerful place to start and believe me you have to start somewhere. The thing is, we are the only ones that create stress in our lives and therefore we are the only ones that can eliminate it as well.  A situation that totally stresses one person out may be completely enjoyable for the next. I'll give an example, you and a friend are shopping downtown. As you exit the store there is a parade happening on the street just outside the store.  You really don't like crowds but you friend loves parades. So you are persuaded into staying to watch.  During the whole parade you might be feeling stressed in the crowd while your friend is having a grand ole' time. Both of you are at the same place, seeing the same things but having completely different experiences.  The situation is the same the difference lies in the individuals response.

 Some of you are really going to be bummed out when I say this, but there is no secret magic pill to eliminate stress.  Stress release and learning to become stress free is going to take effort, awareness, and knowledge.  But believe me the pay offs are infinite.

As I was doing some research on this topic I found lots of websites with plenty of helpful information on how to manage the stress in your life.  The problem however is that most help out there on this topic is single dimensional. Most of the advice was "find time for yourself- do activities you enjoy, read a book, take the dog for a walk, keep a journal.  Say no."  What I am not reading in most of these other sites is that stress is multidimensional and affects us on many layers - biologically, physiologically, emotionally and spiritually.

When you are doing all of those "relaxing" activities you are still DOING something.  The stress just get pushed into another area of your life.  As one of my teachers Dharma Mittra so beautifully puts it, "TOTAL BODY RELAXATION IS THE ONLY ANTIDOTE TO STRESS."  Not only does stress has a cumulative effect but it .  It builds over time and the effects can literally be deadly.  If you really want to get to the root of your stress and eliminate it you need to learn how to be in the quiet.  Sit in silence. Just be.  Meditation, yoga nidra, soaking, pranayama, restorative yoga, and similar techniques are all ways to go into that deep space of your being.  What is most important is that you make an effort to disconnect from the outside world and go in.  Since we are all trained so well in always being on the go and being "productive" with our time we need to retrain ourselves in how to be quiet and still and go in.

So in an effort to keep this blog post short (hehe) here is your first tool.  Give yourself some time each day to be quiet.  To sit in silence, close your eyes take long slow deep breaths and just be.  A technique used in Vipassana meditation is to simply focus on the point below the nose and above the upper lip as the breath moves in and out.  Thoughts will arise.  Rather than following the thought bring your awareness back to that point and your breath. Try this for 5 minutes then eventually work your way up to 15 minutes. Now you are doing yoga.